Monday, December 17, 2012
Any father of a strictly nursed newborn knows that helpless feeling of not being able to comfort their child. This was something Drew struggled with after Nadia was born. He dove into parenting head first and when he met that frustration of not being able to "fix" the situation he struggled, he didn't see it coming. There are many times when a newborn can only find comfort while suckling at their mother's bosom. A phrase we use often in our home is "not the mama" from that 90's show Dinosaurs. A few weeks ago Drew said he felt he was finally bonding with Alida, I was caught off guard. Nadia was our first born and he worked out of town the first year of her life. When home, she was all he focused on and she soaked it all up. It took Ivy two full years to acknowledge she had a father who loved her and cared about her and we longed for her to discover him. She was a mommy's girl and I am glad those days are in the past. Ella was different. She was away from me more than any newborn should be away from their mother. And I was unable to nurse her. When we were finally able to feed her from a bottle, something new to us, Drew was delighted to be able to take part. Our practice was he fed her after I pumped and while I was doing housework. When I think back on our first days at Crouse I am so glad he was able to be so strong for the both of us. I barely recall much from those first hours, hours I should have been relaxing and healing with my child by my side. Instead my baby and her father spent night after night side by side in the hospital sharing intimate time together. Drew formed a connection with her that I hadn't yet been able to. Early on this was something I struggled with a few times in my mind. But today when he tells me Ella was the closest person he has ever been to, feeling a deep connection in their spirits, I am nothing but thankful. I am thankful for the nine months I carried her in my womb before she was ready to brave this harsh world, forming a bond beyond explanation, all the while protecting her while she was developing. I am thankful for the hours of rest I got knowing that she was safe with her daddy by her side. And I am thankful for the time I was able to play "catch up" around the home while Drew fed Ella the only thing that was created just for her, her momma's milk.