Saturday, December 1, 2012

One Year

It has been a whole year. Seems like just yesterday we were holding Ella, yet it seems like a lifetime. Sometimes it seems like it was in a different time, maybe someone else's life, not my own. But it's not. It is my life, my story, my daughter who is not here with us anymore. One day at a time, I just take one day at a time.

My year in review-
November 2- gave birth to Ella, 8 hours later she was taken from us to Crouse where we endured 6 days of hell on earth as the devil tried to convince us to do the unthinkable
November 8- we were able to leave and take Ella to our home where she was showed nothing but affection and was very loved
November 25-she passed away in my arms while the whole family was sleeping
November 26- around 3 a.m. we said goodbye to her lifeless body and I wrapped her in a blanket and handed her away. Later that day we cleared our home of everything baby
November 27- we had our parents and siblings over to our house and we shared Ella's pictures, home videos and celebrated her life
December 2- my dear friend Kristina set up this blog for me to work through my grieving
December- was spent in a haze, I dreaded running into people anywhere I went
January-We found ourselves pregnant again, we couldn't have been happier but we were not thrilled about telling anyone quit yet
March- Ivy's big mouth told Aunt Ana that "mommy's having a baby," a bittersweet moment
 Over the next couple of weeks we told family we were expecting again, a mix of emotions were shared
May- we took a road trip to Texas to visit family, we were excited to get away, knowing that this would be our last chance to embark on such an adventure before we welcomed new life into our family
Summer- my second summer in a row being pregnant, I felt very lazy and unmotivated, my only real "accomplishment" was planning, organizing, and making the decorations for our wedding
August- We were ready for baby! I cannot express enough how long awaited this was for us, especially the girls
September- The countdown was on
October- I accepted that my babies are just not 40 week babies, a hard pill to swallow. I spent many days laying around doing absolutely nothing, well nothing besides housework and homeschooling. I was beyond ready and knew that it was going to be a quick birth so I stayed around home base
October 11- Thought this would be a cool birthday date, went into labor at 11:45 p.m.
October 12- Yay! Another girl!?!!! In the words of my sister Missy "That's a lot of times of not having a boy" I have two sets of proud sisters, one is my own children and the other are my own sisters. I love my girls! 
October- Was spent admiring our new addition, not a single second taken for granted. 
November- A rush of emotions as we remembered Ella through her birthday and short life with us. We held up well.

No comments:

Post a Comment