Thursday, December 15, 2011

While I'm Waiting

Growing up I was always so close to my mom's mom, my grandma. I loved her so much and she was my best friend. I remember I would always have my bags packed cause I was "running away" to their house. This meant I would call my grandpa and he would come right over and pick me up and I would stay at their house until I was ready to go home. I cherished my time with my grandparents, they were so awesome. My grandmother passed away on Christmas day when I was 9 and it tore me apart. To this day Christmas is tough for us for that reason. It was my first experience with death, and it was really hard since we were so close. We had so much in common, including our battle with depression. Somehow those dark years in my life brought me closer to her. I never knew my dads mom very well. She passed away when I was three. My memories of her are "Charlie Brown-ish." I only remember her legs. I remember my dad chasing my sister and I around her kitchen and we were hiding behind her legs. Today my dad stopped over after work and told me about a dream he had had the other night. It was about a little girl with dark hair and she came up to him in the dream and focused her eyes on him and she started to smile. She had a big beautiful smile! It was Ella, he knew and I knew, I loved her long,dark hair! Dad said he  woke up and was smiling so big his faced could have cracked. He knows when we see her again she is going to be perfect. It wasn't until I was talking to him tonight that I realized I had something in common with his mom, my grandma. Dad reminded me that she, too, wore "the shoes." Those ugly shoes of a woman who has lost a child. When my dad was 15 his brother committed suicide, he was 13. Ella has brought me closer to many people in my life, and even some who are no longer in my life. Many people around us have suffered the loss of a loved one.  A friend who had lost a son told me that the death of her child made her realize that this is not her home, and that she has been so homesick since her loss. I too can relate to that feeling of being homesick. I long to be home with my loved ones. Until then I will wait faithfully.....I wait for the LORD, my soul does wait, and in His word do I hope-Psalm 130:5

No comments:

Post a Comment