Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Thank You Ella!

After Ella passed I knew I wanted to remove all of the baby stuff from my home. After we slept for a couple hours, I woke up and decided it needed to be done ASAP. I couldn't bare to look at it anymore. We had put her changing table in the living room, and on it were baskets with all of her clothes and diapers and receiving blankets. Her feeding tube was next to our sink, along with her bottles and the various breast pump attachments I was using. I had been on an every three hours pumping schedule. Most of the time it was very painful for me to make it to the full three hours to pump, I was very "full" if you know what I mean. However, when Ella had passed I had been sleeping for five hours when I woke up and found she was gone. Never before had Ella, nor my boobs, let me sleep for three hours, let alone five. It's so amazing to me how our bodies work. My body knew she was gone. From that moment on pumping was every six hours, then ten, then twelve, then 18, it rapidly decreased with very little pain. And immediately the milk had changed as well, both in color and consistency. I think my body knew she was no longer hungry. She has now been fully satisfied beyond my wildest imagination! Today I was able to give away all the milk I had in my freezer. I feel very blessed to be able to help out a mom who is expecting in a week and will need the extra milk. She thanked me greatly, but she doesn't understand how much I really am thanking her. I was ready to give away the milk, it was the last of Ella's "things" in my home, and I am so glad to help someone out. I guess I should really be giving Ella the credit. Without her I wouldn't have had the milk in the first place, and I wouldn't have made a new friend :)

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