Monday, January 20, 2014

One Was There

Over the last couple of months I have embarked on a journey. One that requires letting go of me and holding on to Him. It is something that I knew I would face some day, but knew I would never be prepared when the time came. Through the life and legacy of my daughter Ella, it has been revealed to me that only our Creator knows the ways of  the world. Time and time again we see how Dr's fail us, teachers fail us, ideologies fail us, our sinful flesh fails us. But one thing remains and always will, Truth. When we see people follow the path that is wide, the ways of this world, that lead to death and destruction, how does one let their loved ones go? One was with us from Ella's first breath to her last,  there when she was stripped of her mother's ability to hold and love her, while she was starved by the medical professionals who couldn't understand how we could love such a monster. And yet One was there. One was there when Ella came home, experienced life to the fullest while being blanketed by love from her parents and sisters. The world kept spinning outside while inside our home time stood still as every second was being imprinted and painted on the fabric of the depths of who we are, and who she is to us. Throughout these days my children were blooming and blossoming into not only mature babies, but young ladies who should never have to experience the harsh lessons this life has to offer. Through it all, the girls have unknowingly remained beacons to us and to family who wish for a second we could all view this world through the eyes of a child. One was there. One was there as we kissed her cold body, and held it close as we wondered how and if we could ever part. As the time passed by it became clear Ella's sister were no longer comfortable and accepting that this was ok, their sister was no longer able to be embraced, time was moving on without her. As the days and weeks go by, it is true, people go on with their lives. People stop asking and start assuming the need is gone. I was foolish to believe that this time would never come, but I guess it is all part of death. I have pondered the idea of letting my thoughts on Ella through the blog be a thing of the past, and I was at peace with that. But today I felt inspired to write, so I am thankful that I can share my innermost conflicts as I am gratefully rejoicing that all the while, One was there.

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