Tuesday, April 10, 2012

Finding Peace

Today I came home from visiting with a friend and the girls were playing on the back porch. As I walked in and took off my coat Nadia says "mom we are going to heaven, wanna know where heaven is mom? It's upstairs, we are going there now..." and she and Ivy walked through the kitchen towards the stairs. Ivy stops and says "mom our baby died and we are going to heaven to see her..." and keeps on walking. What do you say to that? The other day we were discussing our upcoming vacation, we are taking a road trip to Texas to see my sister, her husband, and the girl's four cousins and we are super excited! We were talking about how we were going to take about a week to get there so we could make as many stops as possible and take our time, not feel rushed, and Ivy says "mom can we stop at heaven on our vacation?" I said "I don't think we will be able to do that Ivy, heaven is in our hearts" and she says "Mom!! Us miss baby Ella and we want to see her!" We may not have a full understanding of what heaven is, and how do you explain these tough situations to a child? At least I can say that my girls know that Ella is in heaven and someday we will be with her again. It may not be quick visits to heaven because we miss her and want to hug her, and it may not be as soon as we would like, but one thing is for sure, it's probably not going to turn out the way we planned. We do have an author, and although He has given us free will, we are "His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus unto good works, which God has before ordained that we should walk in them" Eph 2:10. We have been loved since before the foundations of the world! John 17:24. I have talked with many people in the last few months, and throughout my life, who have dealt with tough situations, circumstances that have rocked them to the core and brought them to their knees wondering why and how and if they will ever make it through. I can understand that feeling completely, but I cannot understand what it is to experience that dark, scary place alone. It has been promised that I will never be alone nor forsaken, I will always have the presence of my comforter with me at all times. I am reading a book about a Dr. who lost a son and his wife and the twin of the son that passed described an "unexplainable peace" at the hour their loved one left this world. They knew he was gone merely by the peace that came upon them. The father, on the other hand, was angry and wanted to "fix" the situation, so he said how his anger kept him from experiencing that peace when he needed it the most. I think many would agree that we couldn't imagine going through these situations without the "peace that passes understanding" that only comes from our Father. There is no comfort in telling my children that Ella was cremated and put in a box and there she sits on our bookshelf collecting dust, and there is no comfort in the "survival of the fittest" mentality. How do you explain that to a child? Would you say something like "Ella just wasn't meant to be" or "she should have been aborted and saved our self the hassle like the rest of the world." I recently saw a quote that said "I cannot be content with less than heaven." I cannot. Where is the peace in less than heaven? And on a side note, since when has a mutation ever proven to be beneficial? Ever? Not only are they not beneficial, they usually result in one being sterile. I just watched a video tonight on the metamorphosis of butterflies which leaves everyone baffled on it's complexity and the inner workings of the process. There is a  transformation from one insect to another, completely different with different digestive systems and internal organs and functions to be able to eat two totally different foods, to become a butterfly with reproductive organs, where the caterpillar has none. Just amazing, obviously only possible through "intelligent design" but one woman on the video said something that really stuck out to me. She said "natural selection has no reason to produce beauty." How true is that? Beauty is everywhere we look! In the flowers in the spring, the beautiful sunset every night, the waves of the ocean crashing on the beach, the child playing with her kittens, the elderly couple holding hands, the hills covered with forests. We should take the time to acknowledge the beauty of creation more often. It was made for us! He will hear their cry and restore them, He preserves all who love Him, He is worthy to be praised, Psalm 145 

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